He’s got to be some kind of ancient God of beauty because this is ridiculous.
my favourite thing ever
The biggest plot twist in history
oh my god i just remembered those pringles pots were a thing and now i want one
- 1. Coming to the door to pick someone up.
- 2. Trying to dress really nicely for a date.
- 3. Bringing flowers or other tokens of affection to the first date.
- 4. Going dancing that’s not grinding on a grimy club floor.
- 5. Straightforwardly asking someone out and not calling it “hanging out.”
- 6. Additionally, being clear about when you’re “going steady.”
- 7. Romantic gestures like writing poems.
- 8. Turning electronics off and just being with one another.
- 9. The general concept of asking permission for things.
- 10. Not assuming sex is to be had at any point in time.
- by Kate Bailey
- society: oh you have your period? well you have two options.
- woman: okay.
- society: you can use sanitary pads, which make you feel like you are wearing a diaper, and have the added fun benefit of being extremely uncomfortable and give you the extreme paranoia that they will not be enough coverage and at any moment with any movement or sudden sneeze you'll bleed over onto your clothes and walk around all day with blood stained trousers while everyone points and laughs at you.
- woman: sounds awful. what's my second option.
- society: a penis shaped wad of cotton that you shove uncomfortably inside yourself and it catches the blood before it leaves your body.
- woman: still seems pretty awful.
- society: wait! it gets better! there's the outside chance that using those will kill you!
- woman: well, are they at least free? like how men can have access to free condoms? i mean, it's not like i'm choosing for this to happen.
- society: HAHAHA! that's funny. no, you have to pay for them. and they're really fucking expensive.
- society: oh, and if you tell anyone that you ARE on your period, your judgement, opinions, and reactions are going to be dismissed as the crazy ramblings of a lunatic.
- woman: i think i'll go with my third option.
- society: what third option?
- woman: i think i'll bleed on everything you love.